The Exceptionally Friendly Mariko Yoshida
by TheAravis
Summary: Mariko Yoshida was not good at making friends, but she ignored this fact as she attempted to befriend the Hitachiin twins. Which is why she failed. KaoruOC
1. A Prologue in Two Parts

So this is my first Ouran High School fiction, in case you wanted to know. It is also my first story where the main character is a girl who is female. Yes, a girl who is female.

Anyway, I'm also new with third person, so tell me if there's an issue. And there are no honorifics in this. It's unprofessional, but, first of all, I'm not professional, and second of all, I find it better if I seem unprofessional than I butcher Japanese culture.

Oh, yeah, this is just what it's called: A Prologue in Two Parts. It's a pretty long prologue. This part takes place when she's eleven.

* * *

Mariko Yoshida was not good at making friends.

It wasn't that she was mean, or unfriendly, or anything of the sort.

She just was shy. Well, not shy, as in _shy,_ per se, but she could not go up to someone and just start making conversation with them. Awkward is not a strong enough word to describe _any_ of the many times she tried.

So, one can understand that that particular trait would not help her now, at recess on her first day in Ouran Elementary School.

It bothered her that she had to transfer _now_. If she had waited one more year, she could transfer with all the new kids who transferred at the start of middle school. With the new kids that actually _needed_ friends!

But, of course not. Just her luck, really.

_Really_.

Mariko looked around the field. Everyone was running around and _enjoying_ their lives. _Lucky them_, she thought.

It wasn't fair! All she needed was a friend.

She thought about it. What was it they always said? Oh, yes, something along the lines of, "If you want a friend, be a friend." Well, she did want a friend…

She scanned the schoolyard. There was a group of girls sitting in a corner, talking and laughing. They definitely did not need a friend. Girls and boys were playing tag. Even if one of them _did_ need a friend, she wouldn't be able to go up to them in fear of getting run over. She looked around, seeing more of the same, until…. Aha! Two boys, definitely related (It wouldn't surprise her if they were twins. In fact, it would surprise her if they _weren't_. They were practically clones.) were sitting on a bench alone.

She felt very bad for them. They had so little friends that they had to hang out with _each other_? It must've been terrible! She would know. She had a younger sister, after all. Boy, was she annoying!

And then she thought back to all the times she had tried to make friends. The failed times.

She shook her head, her chestnut brown hair flailing around, and probably making her look insane. The action ridded her of all pessimistic thoughts. Then she sprang to her feet and began to walk toward them.

_Be friendly_, she reminded herself before she approached. "Hello!" she said enthusiastically.

The boys gave her a glare that said, "Why are you talking to us?"

_No matter_, she thought. She would come out successful! (She hoped.)

Wait… What would she say? She looked around the schoolyard and got her answer. _Tag! It's genius! _"Do you want to play tag with me?"

The boys looked at each other. "Which one of us are you talking to?" the one on the left asked, sounding annoyed.

She bit her bottom lip. "Umm… Both of you?" She hoped it was the right answer. Wait… The _right_ answer? This wasn't school! (Well, yes it was, but that wasn't what she meant.)

"There's no one here named 'both of you,'" the one on the right said. He sounded bored, and also annoyed.

Mariko also was starting to get annoyed. These boys were starting to sound like stuck-up jerks. Well, the stuck-up was just tacked on, but they _were_ jerks. At least, they sounded like them. Then, trying to keep her cheerful tone of voice, she said, "Then I'm… uh… asking…"

And then she realized she did not know their names. _Think back, Mariko! To the classroom! They have to be in your class!_

In reality, they didn't _have_ to be in her class. They mixed grades during recess. She was just lucky.

She thought back. Everyone introduced themselves that morning. At least, as far as she could remember.

Then she had an epiphany. _"My name is Hikaru Hitachiin," said the boy in the third row, fourth – was it fourth or fifth? – seat. _

"_And I'm Kaoru Hitachiin," said the boy behind him._

She remembered thinking, _Hey, they look alike! _and then, _I hate my life._

"Then I'm asking Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin!" Mariko felt exceedingly proud of herself. And also happy. She was in the clear now.

"So why don't you ask us separately?" the one on the right asked.

"Why would- I, I mean… uh…" _Major screw-up, Mariko!_ "Okay," she said, trying to fix her mistake quickly so that no one would notice it was ever there. She looked at the boy on the left and asked, "Would you like to play tag with me?" Then she looked at the boy on the right and asked, "Would you like to play tag with me?"

She braced herself for what they would say next. "There's no one here named 'you.'"

_Geez,_ she thought, _for boys, they sure have a hatred of pronouns. And that was _so_ predictable!_

And then she realized they were jerks. Complete, stuck-up (still tacked on) jerks. She didn't want to be friends with them!

…Oh, wait, _yeah_, she did. She needed friends, and they were deprived. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

"I guess I got the wrong person, then," she said, her cheerful tone missing. "But, as long as I'm talking to you I guess that I might as well ask you to play tag with me. So, would Kaoru and/or Hikaru like to play with me?"

"Ask us separately, and we might answer," said one of the boys.

_Oh, dear God, I _love_ the "might." _ "Hikaru," she said the boy on the right, "would you like to play tag with me?"

"I'm Kaoru," Kaoru said.

"So Kaoru, would you like to play tag with me?"

"No," Kaoru responded.

"Because I couldn't tell you apart?"

"Maybe."

"Then you're dumb," Mariko said.

"You're very judgmental," said Hikaru. "I can't say I like you."

Mariko was angry. How could she not be? These guys were hypocrites. They didn't like anyone but themselves and their brother, and they seemed exactly the same, so liking their brother was like liking themselves!

Mariko forced a laugh. The twins raised their eyebrows. Her laugh _did _make her sound insane, after all. "I… _I'm_ judgmental? _You_ won't hang with me because I can't tell you apart. _You_ don't like me because I can't tell you apart. _You_ don't like _anyone_ because they _cannot _tell you apart! Someone could be the _nicest_ person in the _entire_ world, but if they couldn't tell you apart, they obviously wouldn't be worth your time!" The last few were assumptions, but they were well-made ones, or at least in Mariko's opinion. "And you know what? _You_ aren't worth _my_ time!"

"So why don't you leave?" asked Kaoru, blinking.

"I… I _am_ leaving! And… and _I'm_ so sorry I wasted _your_ time!" Mariko yelled, quite loudly, and then did an about-face and began to stomp off.

"You should be," Mariko heard Hikaru say as she walked away.

_Hikaru? How do I know that was Hikaru? _

Mariko stopped in her tracks and turned. The way they looked on the bench… It was picturesque. They looked exactly the same.

And she realized it_ was_ Hikaru. So she could tell them apart. Not by how they looked… of course not. But their voices were different. Hearing Hikaru's made her realize that. She didn't know why.

But she knew the difference. Hikaru's voice was a little more – she didn't know how to describe it – mean (?) than Kaoru's. Kaoru's voice seemed warmer, although the boys were nothing close to warm.

So she could tell them apart. So she could, now, be a part of their world.

But she didn't want to be. So she turned around and trudged off back to where she was before. Back to square one.

_Stuck-up jerks. Definitely stuck up this time._

* * *

Part One over!

Anyway, I don't want to interrupt the flow of the story, so I'll keep this short.

Since ff doesn't support the strike feature (crossed-out words), I made strike look like -this-. For more than one word, it -looks-like-this-.

Continue reading.

* * *

Mariko looked around. She sighed. She was friendless. The last time she was friendless was sixth grade. It wasn't a good thing, if you can tell.

She thought back to her first day at Ouran and shuddered as she remembered her encounter with the Hitachiin twins. She didn't know that they had hearts of ice yet. However, it did not take her long to find out.

She steered clear of them after that. They did not show any signs of caring, but that was no surprise to Mariko. They were the most aloof people one could imagine.

The day after her meeting with the Hitachiin twins, she met a girl named Azumi. The first time she talked to Mariko, she talked to her about the twins, and about how someone should've warned her, and then… nothing in particular.

She and Azumi clicked. They could talk about nothing for hours on end, so they were best friends for her sixth grade year. She kept good relations with some other people, but they belonged to their own clique. And then, at the end of the year, Azumi moved.

They kept in touch through the Internet, but Mariko knew that Azumi, who she could talk about nothing to, would not be keeping her company in the cafeteria, at recess, after school, or on weekends. She had went to America and left Mariko friendless. It was not her fault, of course, but the blame had to go on someone, and it definitely wouldn't be Mariko.

Mariko looked around the classroom, thought for a while, and sat in the desk smack in the middle of the room. She'd surely be surrounded by people, so she'd have to make friends, right?

Before she could answer herself (She had to resort to that due to her lack of friendships.), a girl sat next to her. Her hair was dirty blond, and she was pale. Her eyes were a deep brown, and her face had a round, friendly look to it. She was wearing the same middle school uniform as Mariko, and she wore a necklace with a pink plastic flower dangling from the golden chain around her neck. On her middle finger on her left hand was a ring with a metal rose on it.

She clearly had a strange gardening obsession, but Mariko chose to attempt to befriend her despite that fact. "Hello," Mariko said. "I'm Mariko Yoshida. What's your name?"

"My name? It's Suzume. Suzume Kobayashi." She held out her right hand. "Pleased to meet you, Mariko."

Mariko took her hand and shook it vigorously. "Pleased to meet _you, _Suzume. So, are you new?" Mariko asked.

"Mm-hmm! I used to live in Britain, but my mother had us move here. She said it had to do with a business deal, or something like that. I don't really listen when she talks about her job. After all, it's not like I'll be the heir to our business or anything like that. I actually want to move to America when I get older and perform on Broadway in New York. I've always wanted to see New York, but everyone's always busy."

"That's cool," Mariko said. It kind of overwhelmed her. Her family owned a microwavable dinner brand name and a fast food chain, but she didn't really think about being the heir to all that. But after thinking about it, she realized she probably would be. Her little sister was a big dreamer like Suzume. "What does your family do?"

"My family makes perfume. It's not a big name here, but it's _huge_ in Britain. And even though perfume is nothing compared to other big families, it still gets us enough money to attend Ouran."

"So how do you like Ouran Middle?" Mariko asked. "It's a nice place, right?"

"Mmhmm!" Suzume said enthusiastically. "It's very big compared to my school in London!"

"You know, I was new last year, too. I sort of got off on the wrong foot with the people here. For a while, I thought everyone here was a huge jerk. Most of them aren't; most of them are pretty nice. Anyway, you'll love it here."

"How did you get off on the wrong foot with the people here? Did you have to spend the whole last year without friends? Is that why you're talking to me?"

_Wow,_ Mariko thought. _Suzume sure jumps to the strangest conclusions. _ "No, I had friends – well, _a_ friend last year. But she moved to America."

"To New York?" Suzume asked eagerly.

Mariko thought back. "Uh… No. I think Florida. Or maybe California. I'm not too sure."

Suzume frowned – actually, it seemed to be more of a pout. "But definitely not New York?" Mariko nodded and smiled sheepishly. "Oh, well. But you never told me how you got off on the wrong foot with the people here."

Mariko hesitated. "Most of the people here are nice. Like, _really_ nice. But... uh... People can be mean, too, if you know what I mean."

"Ooh... Who?" Suzume asked, her eyes lighting up.

Mariko wondered why the thought of mean people made Suzume happy, but she shrugged it off. "You probably don't want to know."

"_Nooo_…. I really want to know!" Mariko realized that Suzume reminded her of a small child. She was actually kind of small.

"Okay. Do you know the Hitachiin twins?"

"I think I've seen them around… The ones with the orangey hair? That are like clones?"

"Yeah, them. So, look, on my first day of school here-"

"Last year?"

"Yeah. So I was friendless, and bored, so, long story short: I tried to make friends with them; they were jerks; the end."

Suzume wrinkled her nose. "That wasn't exciting."

"Well, it wasn't supposed to be, you know?"

* * *

Mariko felt lucky. She had trouble with making friends, but it took her less than a day to find someone she clicked with.

It was her second day at Ouran, and entered the schoolyard (about fifteen minutes early, like she always did) she saw Suzume talking to another girl.

She was pretty and short. Her features were sharp and her lips were red. She wore glasses over her blue eyes and her dark brown hair was pulled into a ponytail. Unlike Suzume, she wore no accessories with her uniform except for red string bracelet with a plastic blue heart charm on it around her left wrist.

Suzume turned and waved, and then made the universal "come here gesture." Mariko rushed over. "Hi, Mariko. This is Eri Ito. Eri, this is Mariko Yoshida."

Eri smiled warmly. "Hi, Mariko. Are you new, too?"

Mariko noticed the Eri seemed kind of… meek. But she also noticed that Eri seemed nice. "No, I was here last year. But this part of the school is new to me."

Eri was silent for a moment. "Oh, yes, I remember you! You were Azumi's best friend."

"Yeah. And I think I remember seeing you a few times. Were you in my class?"

The conversation took off after that. Mariko's judging of Eri's character was correct (although you should never judge) and Eri was meek. And it is common knowledge that "meek" is only a nice way to say "pushover."

* * *

Eri's, Mariko's, and Suzume's friendships with each other grew over the next few months. They became as close as sisters; at least, as close as sisters that met each other a few months before and befriended easily.

So Mariko was dismayed when she saw none of them in the schoolyard. She waited a while (about two minutes; Mariko really lacked patience.), but they didn't show up, and, considering they usually showed up ten minutes earlier than her at school, she concluded that they were probably busy or something. So, thinking that Suzume would have to show up for homeroom, she ran into the school and dashed up the stairs to her classroom.

She threw open the door to her classroom a little eagerly, hoping that Suzume and/or Eri was there, but she was out of luck. The classroom was devoid of anything living, except for the Hitachiin twins, who she didn't think counted. The twins looked up when she entered the room, but then continued their conversation.

Mariko took her seat (which was still in the middle of the room) and opened her red leather messenger bag. She found one of her textbooks, and decided to read it.

She studied for a while, but stopped when she heard a voice oh-so-quietly whisper, "Don't we know her?" It was Hikaru. Mariko looked around the room, careful not to change the position of her head, and saw that she was the only girl – the only living being other than them - in the room. It was not news.

"She's the girl who yelled at us at the start of last year," Mariko heard Kaoru say.

Mariko turned a page in her book, and then closed it. The book was insufferably boring now that she remembered what talking was. She began to place it back in her bag, and as she did, she felt her hand hit her phone.

"She was a jerk."

Aha! That was it! She could use her phone. Mariko felt shameful that she had not thought of it before.

She took it, flipped it open, and turned it on. To her dismay, she saw she had six new text messages.

She quickly translated the chat speak and felt terrible.

Message one (from Suzume, yesterday afternoon): _Come to the girl's bathroom on the second floor. It's an emergency!_

Message two (also from Suzume. In fact, all the messages were from Suzume. It came shortly after the last.): _Where are you?_

The next four messages were that, essentially, only worded differently.

She also had six missed calls.

"That was obvious, Hikaru."

She dialed Suzume's number quickly. _Ring. Ring. Come on, Suzume, pick up!_

"It's about time you called, Mariko."

"Sorry, I had my phone off and it was lost in my bag. Where are you and what was the emergency?"

"Me and Eri are at her house. We're playing hooky. Eri was crying all day yesterday," Suzume informed her. "We're going to watch tons of chick flicks and eat junk food."

Mariko was more than surprised. Even though Eri was a pushover, she never cried, because she would conform before you could offend her. "Why?"

"Because Eri needs cheering up, and this always works in the movies."

"No, why was Eri crying?"

"The Hitachiin twins." Mariko looked at them. She wasn't listening to their conversation, but she could tell they weren't talking about her anymore, considering that they were looking out the window.

"How?"

"Eri had a crush on one of them, so she-"

"_Eri_ had a _crush_ on one of the _Hitachiin_ brothers?" Mariko practically yelled. To this, Kaoru and Hikaru looked at her.

"What?" Kaoru asked Mariko.

Mariko looked up. She considered yelling at them, but realized there would be a better way to get revenge. She didn't know what, but yelling at them never worked. _That_ she knew. But she didn't know the story, so she looked at them, covered her phone with her hand, and said, "Nothing, sorry. I meant… uh… 'hi.' I just… uh… looked at you and remembered your names. Yeah."

She stood up, and her chair crashed against the desk behind her loudly. She smiled sheepishly, pushed it in, and scurried out of the room.

"Sure," Mariko heard Kaoru say as she left the room. Mariko shut the door behind her.

Standing outside the classroom, next to the door, she put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"What happened? One second you were yelling, the next second you were gone, and the _next_ second you were apologizing and saying something about names."

"Sorry, I was talking to Kaoru," Mariko said.

"Kaoru Hitachiin?"

"Yeah, he and Hikaru were in the classroom with me."

"Why?"

"I was looking for you, but I gave up, so I went to homeroom early, okay? So what were you saying before I yelled?"

"Eri had a crush on one of the Hitachiin twins, so she wrote a love letter," Suzume said.

"Why did she have a crush on them? Didn't she know they have a reputation?"

"She just did! She couldn't control it, Mariko. Like how if the Phantom could control the crush he had on Christine, he wouldn't have-"

"Okay, but why did she act on it? That's not like her!"

"I don't know. She said she was sick of being meek or something."

"But she _is_ meek! If you look meek up in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of her face!"

"That was mean, Mariko-"

"Mean, but true."

"Anyway, so she put it in the twin-she-liked's locker, and he told her to meet him after school-"

"You mean he played the trick on her? Where one of them says he's the other twin, and then he's not, and then the other pops out and they're all, 'You're shallow!'"

"How'd you know?"

"How'd she _not_ know? Everyone knows they do that!"

"I didn't."

"But you're new!"

"Well, maybe she just didn't know!"

"But why did she say 'yes,' when he said he liked her? Doesn't she know they have a complex?"

"Look, if it was me or you, we would've said yes," Suzume reasoned.

"True, but it was _Eri_."

"And Eri's a-" Here Suzume's voice fell to a whisper. "-_pushover_. She's meek. She can't say no."

"Oh. Oh… yeah."

"Mmm."

* * *

Mariko spent the day thinking of ways to get revenge.

She could… kill them, couldn't she? Oh, wait, that was illegal, and that'd be the end of her parents' business. Maybe she could hire someone to kidnap them. Oh, that was still in the not-legal zone.

She needed to find a way to use her skills. What were her skills? She could yell loudly, she punched a tiny bit harder than the average person (of course, after that punch, her hand would hurt), she could tell them apart, she-

She could tell them apart! That was it!

She could… She'd write a love letter to one of the twins, and then, when they talked – Wait. She couldn't use _herself_. They already knew her.

She would use Suzume. So they could write a letter, and when they would meet Suzume, Mariko would tell her if it was Hikaru or Kaoru! And then, in some way, Suzume would reveal that she knew the difference between them, slap the twin across the face, and run off!

Mariko wondered why the world was yet to realize her genius.

* * *

Suzume liked the plan that Mariko came up with. Mariko didn't tell Eri because she knew she'd be against it.

So they wrote the letter in a half hour (It was hard thinking up compliments. They wished they could have Eri's help. And they dilly-dallied.), and this was the final product:

_Dear Hikaru, _(Mariko flipped a coin, and heads won out.)  
_I'm usually not this forward, but I've seen you around school, and I -–think- know I love you. I love your hair and how orange it is and how it looks -–like-you-put-a-bowl-on-your-head-and-then-chopped-off-all-the-hair-not-under-the-bowl- awesome. I -like__-__ love –-how- -brown- -blue- -green__-__ the color of your eyes. And what specially amazes me is how -–nice-you-are-to-everyone- you are so handsome!  
From,  
Suzume Kobayashi  
__P.S.  
Please meet me in the empty classroom on the fourth floor after school._

After copying it onto pink paper, putting it in the envelope, and sealing with a heart sticker, Suzume and Mariko high-fived.

This plan was going to work.

* * *

Mariko arrived at the room fifteen minutes earlier than Suzume's appointment. Neither Hikaru nor Kaoru were there. Suzume wasn't supposed to be there.

The room had no people in it. Mariko looked around. She saw the closets that were used to hang coats in and she went inside.

Good thing she wasn't claustrophobic. "Em to Ess, Em to Ess, over."

"I hear you. I'm still in class."

"Em is safely inside the battlefield."

"Why are you using code words?"

"Because they're going to walk inside at any moment, and-"

"Okay, okay. Umm… class is ending. Thing 1 – that's Hikaru, right? – and Thing 2 have left the base."

"Thing 1 is Hikaru. Thing 2 is Kaoru. Remember that, E-" Mariko heard the door open. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Thing 1 and Thing 2 have entered the battlefield."

"This is getting boring," Hikaru said. "We just did this on Monday."

"I know," Kaoru said. "I don't really want to do this anymore. This is the last time, okay?"

"Good," Hikaru said. "She's coming in five minutes. Go hide in the closet."

"You will be speaking with Thing 1," Mariko whispered very quietly.

Then she processed what Hikaru said. She thought fast and moved to the side so that Kaoru wouldn't touch her when he entered. It was a large closet, and it was dark.

The door opened. Mariko froze. Kaoru didn't notice a thing.

And then her phone fell out of her pocket. Kaoru heard the clatter. "What was that?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Kaoru said. He saw a glint of light reflecting off of a cell phone. He picked it up. "Whose phone is this?" he muttered. "Mariko Yoshida. Don't I know her…?"

The door opened. "Hikaru!" Mariko heard Suzume's voice yell. "Did you think it over?"

Mariko thought about it. What was worth more, her revenge, or her cell phone?

"I'm Kaoru. Looks like you got me and him confused and put this in the wrong locker," Hikaru said.

Mariko would wait until after Hikaru was slapped. That she needed to hear.

"Oh," Suzume said, sounding on the verge of tears. Mariko mentally applauded her acting skills. "Well, I'll just… go…"

"Wait… You know, I've seen you around. And I have to say… You're pretty cute."

"You really think I'm cute, Hikaru?" Suzume asked, putting no emphasis on Hikaru.

"What?" Kaoru muttered.

"Yeah, so- Wait. Did you just call me-" _Slap. _Mariko could hear the door opening. "Hey, wait!"

She heard Hikaru run out the door. And then Mariko broke down laughing. "That was awesome," she said.

"Who said that?" Kaoru asked.

_Oh, shoot. Ugh, I'll just make do._ "I did. So, uh, can I have my phone back? Well, first, let's leave the closet."

Kaoru didn't move, so she pushed him (only a little) and opened the door. Kaoru eventually walked out. "Phone?" Mariko asked, holding her hands out.

"You're that girl! Were you in the closet the whole time?" Kaoru asked.

"Was I?" Mariko asked.

"Why were you in there?"

"Do you remember the girl you did this to on Monday? Well, she was my best friend. Wait, why am I telling you this? Oh, yeah, my phone. Give it to me."

"Why would I give it to you?" Kaoru asked. "So could that girl really tell us apart?"

"I'll tell you if you give me my cell phone," Mariko bargained.

"I can't trust you," Kaoru said.

"You can't trust me? _I _can't trust _you_!"

"I guess we're on the same page. You'll never have your phone, and I'll never know the answer," Kaoru said.

Mariko rolled her eyes. "Fine. She _can_ tell the difference. She said it had to do with your voices or something," she lied. "I can't hear the difference."

"Oh," Kaoru said. "Well, bye, then."

"My phone?"

"Yeah, right." Kaoru headed for the door, but Mariko ran up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What are you-"

"Move and I'll strangle you. Now give me my phone," Mariko said, contradicting herself.

"No," Kaoru said. He grabbed her arms and pulled them off of his neck. "Bye."

"Kaoru!" Mariko yelled as he left, but she didn't move. She sighed and turned around, going toward the closet to pick up the walkie talkie she left.

That's when she saw her phone on the desk in front of the closet.

* * *

Did you like it?

Well, I tried hard. Sort of. Anyway, I worry it wasn't funny enough. And humor is what I live for! So, do you think it's funny?

Also, do you think Mariko's a Mary Sue? I suck at identifying Mary-Sues, so yeah.

If I did something wrong with Japanese culture or something, please tell me. But not for the honorifics, because that was obvious.

Last question: Do you think I should continue it?

By the way, if I do continue it, it'll be a short fanfic.


	2. Sort of Surprising Revelations

Yay! An update!

Why is there a lack of cheering?

Anyway, this chapter is nowhere near as long as the prologue. Sorry, but that was just extra-long because it got out of hand. I'm not really, _really_ happy with it, but I figured it could be worse. Why don't you read it and tell me what you think?

* * *

Mariko couldn't believe her vacation was over.

And she also couldn't believe that Suzume was dead.

This was because, of course, Suzume was very much alive. In fact, she sat in the car with Mariko, along with Eri.

Unfortunately, Mariko's vacation was still over.

The reason they were all in the same car was because they had the idea a week before that they should have a sleepover the night before school started up again, during which they stayed up until three in the morning watching chick flicks.

It was an idea that, Mariko realized, was very, _very_ dumb. Her friends were practically dead.

Mariko had a special skill that let her be able to get up at any time she wanted and be completely awake. Unfortunately, it would come back to her five hours later, during which she would have a headache that made her so sadistic that she could laugh at the death of Bambi's mother.

Mariko was a morning person; just not a _later_ person.

"Miss Yoshida, we have arrived at your house," the chauffeur informed Mariko.

"Thank you," Mariko told him. "Don't forget me and drive away, alright?" she added with a laugh.

Unfortunately, that was just the kind of thing that peeved him. But Mariko would never know that.

She went up to the gates of her mansion and pressed the intercom button. "Hey, it's Mariko. Could you bring my backpack to the gate, please?"

A few minutes later, a maid came up to her with the red leather messenger bag. "Thanks." Mariko took it and walked back to Suzume's limo.

Soon – way too soon in Mariko's opinion – they arrived at Ouran High School. She shook Eri and Suzume. Eri woke almost as soon as Mariko touched her, but Suzume took her time gathering her consciousness.

"We've arrived. Aren't you excited?"

* * *

Mariko yawned, looked at the standing, open textbooks surrounding her, closed them, and then looked around at her surroundings.

Why was she in a classroom? Wasn't she at home sleeping?

She checked her phone and saw that school had ended a half hour ago.

She tried to remember what she last saw… She ate lunch with her friends, being kind of a jerk… then Study Hall… and then nothing. So she looked at her open phone again and saw she had a text message from Eri, sent right when school ended. _Hi, Mariko. You slept through the last two classes of the day. Don't worry; you only missed study hall and history. We didn't learn anything, anyway. It's the first day!_

Mariko scowled and got out of her chair. She stumbled out of the classroom and bumped into a girl. "Sorry," Mariko apologized. She looked up, and it was a girl around her age, walking around with a few of her friends.

"It's okay," the girl replied. As she walked away, Mariko heard her say the name "Hitachiin."

As in the _Hitachiin_ twins.

Mariko and they had quite a history. Especially since the incident three years prior.

If you don't know, what happened was that Suzume and Mariko had played a trick on the twins, making them believe that Suzume could tell the difference between them.

She couldn't, duh. They _were_ twins.

Anyway, the twins had a serious complex. They thought like this: _If you can tell us apart, congratulations, you're a person; if you can't… Were we talking to someone? _They ripped apart the hearts of the girls that had a crushes on them, because it was super-foxy-mega-awesome-fun!

They were just cruel. In general.

The day after the incident, Suzume was stalked by the twins. When she finally stopped ignoring them, they made her play the "Which One is Hikaru?" game.

She lost. So when Kaoru asked Mariko why she lied (with Hikaru beside him, of course), she said to him, "Shut up and leave me alone, _Hikaru_." "Hikaru" wasn't some kind of insult; she was just implying that she couldn't tell them apart.

It was mean, but effective. At least, it was effective once you said it twenty times or more.

After that, Mariko and the twins didn't interact for three years, the three years leading up to now. Thank goodness.

Mariko felt her phone vibrate. She opened it. _Morning, Mariko. Me and Eri are at Music Room 2 for drama club. We signed up for you, too, so come over here right now. Eris has her heart set on being an extra in Sleeping Beauty and she's going to need you so she doesn't die of boredom._

_Sure,_ she texted. _And can you _not_ let me sleep during class?_

She reread her text. Music Room 2? Where was that? The darn high school building was huge. She wandered the halls and ran up stairs until she saw something.

And that something was _not _the second music room, unfortunately. It was the Hitachiin brothers entering a club room.

The Hitachiin brothers entering a _club _room, a room where other human beings were, _after_ school. Human interaction was no longer necessary.

Rumors she had heard the year before entered her mind. Rumors about the Hitachiin twins joining a club and being nice to people. Apparently, that was why they got a crazy anime haircut. She had dismissed the rumors, but now…

When she went up to see the door after they entered, she felt reassured and frustrated. Reassured because it was the empty Music Room 3 that Hikaru and Kaoru entered. They hadn't changed. They were probably having a "Let's Break a Girl's Heart, Call Her Shallow, and Then Rip Her Letter about How Awesome We are into Small Pieces" session.

She felt frustrated because it was Music Room _3_. She'd passed the second music room.

Mariko's heart went out to the poor girl whose heart they were breaking, but she knew not to meddle. The girl would grow in character, right?

_Right_.

Mariko ran down the stairs to the second music room.

* * *

"So they _were_ in a club, and you didn't tell me?" Mariko asked her friends at lunch.

"Sorry," Eri apologized, "but you really didn't want to believe it."

"Yup," Suzume replied. "We thought you'd be happier living in your own little world where the twins were cold, heartless jerks."

"Which they are!"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about, Mary-and-Co.," Suzume retorted. "If you want, we can drop by and prove it to you." Mariko wrinkled her nose. "I heard it was fun. And I doubt they remember you. Or me. It's been three years. No offense, but we can't be _that_ memorable."

"Why would they remember you?" Eri asked.

Suzume laughed nervously. "Well… I bumped into them once."

Eri looked skeptical, but she said, "…Okay. But anyway, isn't the club during Drama?"

"Yeah, but we can skip," Suzume answered. "We're all _extras,_ anyway," she continued spitefully.

Mariko thought about it. The Hitachiin twins… _kind?_ _Kind_… The Hitachiin twins?

Mariko felt the urge to grab her drink and proceed to do a spit-take, but decided against it.

_You know... if they're actually being nice, I might have to see that, won't I?_

… _Naaah._

* * *

_Hey, Mariko. Drama Club is canceled. Want to hang out?_

Mariko started to text back, but another text message was sent her way before she finished. _Scratch that. Eri just told me we have a test tomorrow. Man, are you lucky you don't have Mr. Inoue! I'm gonna be busy all day. Eri, too. Sorry!_

Mariko began to start another text, but another text came from Suzume. _Man, that girl has lightning fingers, _Mariko thought.

She opened the text. _You should drop by the Cooking Club. I heard they're giving out cupcakes for an anniversary… of… something… or someone's birthday… or something. I could care less. See ya!_

* * *

"Thanks," Mariko said absentmindedly as she took the cupcake from a guy in an apron. Feeling a little bad for him, she added, "Happy anniversary!"

She sat down on one of the chairs that was put around the room and bit the cupcake.

It, in a word, was heavenly.

In a matter of minutes, the cupcake transformed into crumbs. Feeling satisfied, she stood up and threw out the wrapper. She caught a glimpse of a person tipping the cupcake guy.

She didn't know what to do. Tip the cupcake guy, or leave? She didn't want to seem like a complete jerk, but she didn't want to waste her allowance on tips.

After arguing with herself for a few minutes, she finally awkwardly walked up to the cupcake guy and stuck out her hand. She had some change in it.

The cupcake guy smirked. "You, too, huh?" Mariko nodded. He took the money. "You know, you don't have to tip us. The school pays for everything." He handed someone a cupcake. "But thanks," he said, and smiled.

Mariko smiled back and left the clubroom.

_What'll I do now? Wander around the school?_

The answer was "yes." That's all she had to do at the moment. She didn't want to go _home_.

_Come on, Mariko. School is fun when you're not learning, right? There's the library, and the… library, and also… the… library…_

"Oh, and don't forget the library," she muttered to herself, looking at the ground.

Then she brought her gaze back up and saw…

Music Room 3

Were the Fates trying to send her a message? Because, if this was it, she was definitely ignoring them.

… Definitely ignoring them…

… Ignoring…

…_Okay, fine, I give in._ Mariko grabbed the door handle, pulled it toward her…

And found herself in a clubroom busier than the Cooking Club's.

Mariko looked around and sat on the closest chair. Then she spotted Ayame, a girl she sort of knew, so she went over to her. "Hey, Ayame."

Ayame was a pretty girl of medium height. Her hair was raven black and pulled into a braid. Her eyes were hazel, and her lips were pink. She was wearing the yellow high school uniform.

Ayame smiled, but gave her a "one minute" gesture. She pointed to a guy at the table she and Mariko were sitting at that was talking. He was seriously handsome. He was tall, had black eyes and black hair, and wore glasses.

Mariko thought it'd be best to admit that he was probably the most handsome guy she'd see in her lifetime.

When he finished talking and moved to another table, Ayame said, "Hi, Mariko. Why are you here?" She thought awhile, and quickly added, "No offense."

"I just wanted to stop by," Mariko explained. "So… What is this place for?"

Ayame beamed. "It's a hangout place. There's tea, cake, and _boys_!"

Mariko raised an eyebrow. "Boys?"

"The club members. They're here to please us," Ayame said. "That's why there are only a few. Only the most handsome and perfect of people are allowed to join!" Ayame paused. "Why don't you look around? I'm sure you'll like it!"

Ayame wasn't trying to get rid of Mariko. Ayame, like most of the girls at Ouran, while airheaded and shallow, was a nice person. She really and genuinely believed that Mariko would enjoy her time there. After all, how could someone _not_ like it?

"O…kay…" Mariko reluctantly replied.

Noticing her hesitancy, Ayame thought, _Fine. I can't help it! She wants to know about them! I promise she won't get annoyed!_

"Well," Ayame began. "You should know who the boys are, right? The boy that was talking before, he's _Kyoya Ootori_." Ayame swooned as she said his name. "Isn't he the cutest guy _ever_? And he's _so_ smart! I'd ask him out if it wasn't obvious he was in a relationship with Tamaki."

Mariko was puzzled. Who was Tamaki and why were her parents so mean as to give her a boy's name? Why wasn't she jealous that he came here and flirted with girls? But, more importantly, where had Mariko heard the name "Ootori"? "I think I know that name, Ayame. Ootori. _Oh_-tori. Oooh-tori."

"Of course you have, Mariko! His family owns _everything_!" (Anyone reading this may know that Ayame was prone to hyperbole.) "They're super-rich! Even richer than me, and my family owns-" Ayame named a jewelry chain that was too expensive for even Mariko. She was only allowed to shop there every other week! "He's one of the co-founders of the club. The other co-founder is Tamaki Suoh. He's the tall blond boy over…" Ayame looked around the room. "Over there!" Ayame said, pointing to a – you guessed it! – a tall blond boy.

However, this boy was different from other tall blond boys. He was an _exceedingly handsome_ tall blond boy.

His hair fell perfectly over his forehead. His eyes were indigo, and he wore a soft smile when he wasn't talking to the girl in his arms. Judging by the tomato-red blush on the girl's face, he was probably complimenting her. A group of blushing girls surrounded him.

_Remember what I said about Kyoya being the most handsome guy I'd ever see in my life? Yeah, forget I said that._

Still, the rational part of Mariko knew she'd never had a chance if she even tried. It was like… a celebrity crush. It was fun, but it was not actually going to happen.

While Mariko stared at Tamaki, lost in thought, Ayame kept silent, knowing _exactly_ what was happening to Mariko: She was falling in love, too!

This was a magical moment. Ayame didn't dare interrupt it.

And while _that_ happened, something clicked for Mariko. "_Tamaki_ Suoh? Like, _Kyoya_'s Tamaki?"

Ayame felt for her, but she couldn't help but reply eagerly when she mentioned them being together. "Of course!"

"So they're both _gay_?" Mariko asked. Hearing that they were both homosexual made the crushes she sort of had on them commit suicide.

"Not openly," Ayame said, sounding irritated that they refused to come out. Then a smile took over her face. "_Yet. _I dream of the day they'll fall in each other's arms and profess their undying love!" Mariko imagined this happening, and then realized it wasn't possible. Even if Kyoya _was_ gay, he definitely was not the type for PDA, let alone homosexual PDA.

Mariko opened her mouth, planning to tell Ayame this, but an unfamiliar voice jumped in. "Not that again, Ayame! Can't you see that it's obvious Tamaki's in love with _Haruhi_? Just look at the way he stares at him longingly!"

Mariko looked up and saw Kurohime, who was Ayame's best friend, even though they got into a lot of squabbles. They were like a married couple, except for the fact that they weren't married or lesbians.

Kurohime was a redhead who wore her hair down to the middle of her back. Her eyes were brown, and she was of medium height. She wore the uniform.

Ayame sniffed. "No one asked you, Kurohime. Now go away, I'm teaching Mariko about the Host Club."

"Then I should help you if you're just going to _lie_ to her!" Kurohime argued. Turning to Mariko, she said, "Hey."

Mariko, not wanting to be the cause of one of their arguments, told them, "You know what, guys? I mean, girls. I think it'll be more fun to learn this stuff on my own. So, thanks, but… Bye." She stood up and pushed in her chair.

As Mariko walked away, she heard Ayame sulkily tell Kurohime, "Great job, Kurohime." Mariko chuckled and made her way over to the refreshment table. She wasn't thirsty, but it seemed like a place to figure things. Like, what to do.

She doing fine until some idiot pushed out their chair out and tripped her. "I'm falling," she said to herself and anyone else who didn't notice.

She nearly fell flat on her face, but before she hit ground, someone grabbed her and helped her up. When she saw him, she realized that he was one of the cutest boys in the world.

_Wrong._ She nearly fell flat on her face, but before she hit ground, she stuck her arms out and broke her fall. Then she stood up and brushed herself off.

"I'm sorry," she heard a voice say.

Mariko looked down and saw the cutest boy that could ever hope to exist standing below her. She held in the urge to ruffle his hair and examined him. He was blond, small, and had _huge_ chocolate brown eyes. Unfortunately, he was pouting. He had a pink stuffed bunny pulled close to his chest. "You tripped on my chair when I pushed it out. I'm sorry!"

Mariko's heart went out to him. She frowned, feeling bad that she mentally called him an idiot. "It's okay. It's my fault for not predicting that you would push out your chair the exact moment that I would walk by you." Mariko realized what she just said and realized that it sounded incredibly sarcastic. "I mean, it's my fault for not looking."

"Really?" he asked happily. "Thank you!" He then scurried over to another table and began attacking a piece of cake.

Mariko wondered why a little kid was there and why he was wearing a high school uniform. She eventually concluded that he was probably Tamaki's little brother and was wearing the uniform for effect. Or something.

She noticed a guy followed him around. He was sort of handsome, but not Host Club handsome. He had spiky black hair and black eyes. He didn't seem to enjoy speaking. At all.

Mariko continued making her way toward the refreshment table. She hung out there for a minute or two. She looked around the clubroom until she finally saw the twins a few feet away from her, drinking tea. Girls sat at the table with them. One of them reached for something in the middle of the table and spilled one of the twins' tea on one of their hands. "I'm so sorry!" she said.

"The tea…" Kaoru said. "It burned me…"

And then Hikaru grabbed him, not in a kidnapping way, more like a romantic way, and their faces were insanely close to each other. They talked to each other, but Mariko wasn't listening because she was having an epiphany.

They were gay!

They. Were. Gay!

_That explains everything!_ Mariko realized. _They crushed girls' hearts because they didn't want to lead them on. They didn't make friends because they didn't want anyone to learn their secret. But they decided to come out! It explains everything!_

Mariko thought about it some more and realized the "they did everything because they were gay" theory seemed a little too… nice for them.

A little way too nice. But she was pretty sure they weren't straight. That would make no sense at all.

Mariko decided to watch from afar. So she sat at one of the close tables and watched how the twins interacted with each other and other people.

It wasn't terribly interesting. They just… talked. They weren't charming the girls. They weren't charming each other. They just drank tea and talked.

At least, until Hikaru announced, "Let's play the 'Which One is Hikaru?' game! Winner gets a kiss on the cheek from both of us."

The girls cheered. Kaoru stood up and stood next to Hikaru and put a green cap on in sync with Hikaru. Mariko didn't know why, but decided that it probably did something.

Then she realized that they still had a complex. They just weren't so big on it anymore.

She decided to game the system and went up to one of the girls and told her, "The one on the left is Kaoru. The one on the right is Hikaru. If I'm wrong, I'll give you 1000 yen. If I'm right, you can be happy with yourself. Deal?"

"Well," the girl said. "Your guess is as good as mine, right? And even though 1000 yen is nothing, I'll still gain, right?"

She watched as the girl stood up, pushed her way through the crowd, pointed to Hikaru and said, "You're Hikaru." She pointed to Kaoru. "And you're Kaoru. Right?"

"Wrong!" Hikaru said. "I'm Kaoru."

"And I'm Hikaru," Kaoru said.

Mariko couldn't keep quiet. So she pushed her way to the front of the crowd, pointed at the twins (for an effect), and yelled, "You're lying!"

* * *

What a cliffie, huh? I think it's actually sort of lame, but it's common knowledge that you should always end with cliffhangers.

Anyway, I want to ask if, after reading this chapter, you think Mariko's a Mary-Sue. If you do (or don't) please say so in a review.

Have a nice day!


	3. The Way Out of an Awkward Situation

Sorry for the late update! I got obsessed with Pokemon for a while (Do _not_ laugh.), and I neglected Word. But then I got sick of grinding, so I came back.

Plus, I had a tad bit of writers' block.

Readers beware: I don't love this next chapter. it's horrendously short (compared to the other chapters, at least), and I just don't like it very much.

But _you_ like it, right?

Right!

I'm going to go cry in my emo corner now. And yes, I _have a reservation_!

* * *

Right when the words escaped her lips, that's when she realized what she had been saying.

Luckily, Mariko had a mind _made_ for winging it. So she winged it easily. She moved her arm roughly twenty degrees to right. "You said that _he_ was Hikaru, on the right! And _he _was Kaoru, on the left! I can't believe you lied…" Mariko realized she didn't know her name. Why was she always in this situation? "_You_!"

"What?" the girl asked confusedly. "But you-"

"She's lying," Hikaru interrupted. He looked skeptically at Mariko. "You're lying."

"And you don't even lie _well_. But…" Kaoru paused.

"How did you know we were lying?" the twins chorused with perfect timing, cocking their heads to the left.

Mariko was not with them. No, she was a little behind. "I don't lie well?" Mariko asked, offended. "_I _don't lie well? Then _excuse me _if I can't lie. But excuse _you_ for believing it!"

Kaoru was horribly confused. Hikaru was horribly confused. The crowd was horribly confused. Everyone was horribly confused, except Mariko, because that would make no sense.

"Believing it?" Hikaru asked. "We didn't believe it." Kaoru looked at her thoughtfully.

Mariko caught herself again. She did _not_ want them to remember her. "Oh, yeah, you didn't," she said, smiling sheepishly.

Then Kaoru burst out, "You're _her_!"

_I'm "her." Well, I guess it's better than "him," right?_ "Yeah, that's me!" Mariko exclaimed. "Suzume Kobayashi."

"Suzume… Kobayashi?"

"Yeah?"

"I thought you were someone else."

"Well," the girl next to the twins said, annoyed. "We know she's a chronic liar."

She wasn't usually that mean. But, to understand her, you must look at it from her perspective.

Imagine this: You are at the Host Club, spending your time at your favorite place. You're sitting at a table with two incredibly handsome twins. One of them announces that they're playing the "Which One is Hikaru?" game. The prize is a kiss on the cheek.

All you know is that you want that kiss. But since you are a human being, you can't tell the twins apart. Then a girl comes and tells you who's who. She's promises you 1000 yen if she's wrong. You go up to twins, say who's who, and get told you're wrong.

You can't wait for the money. Not because you need it, but money is nice in general. But then the girl pushes her way to the front of the crowd and accuses them of lying. But then, she says she was accusing _you_ of lying, which deeply confuses you. Then the twins admit to lying.

So you were right. And you _really_ want that kiss. But no, they just talk and talk and talk and don't kiss you.

It's amazing you haven't left by now.

With that realization, she silently left the room, disappointed.

"She's right! You're Mariko, aren't you?"

"I'm not!" Mariko argued convincingly.

A crowd was forming. They _were _being loud, after all.

"I thought you said she was Mariko, Ayame," Kurohime said from the back of crowd.

Ayame snorted. "Of course she is! But let her lie, Kurohime! Meddling is wrong."

"Isn't she your friend?" Kurohime asked thoughtfully. "We should help her, Ayame."

Ayame shook her head. "But that would make us-"

Kurohime grabbed Ayame's arm and attempted to pull her to the front of the crowd, but Ayame was able to break free of her somewhere in the middle. "Kurohime!" she yelled.

"I am! Can't you see I look just like her? I _am_ her!"

Kurohime quickly walked up to Mariko. Ayame brushed herself off and stood on her toes, trying to see Kurohime.

"Hi, Suzume!" Kurohime "knowingly" winked twice. "What's up?" she asked cheerfully.

Unfortunately, this comment was very inappropriate for the situation. For the answer to the question "What's up?" would be, "Oh, nothing. I'm just lying about my identity! Obviously, I'm doing well, seeing as you fell for it. By the way, I'm Suzume!"

And, in addition to that, Kurohime was in the restroom when they gave out acting skills.

(That was a clever way to say that she couldn't act.)

"Oh, nothing," Mariko said, waving her hand. "But, what did you call me?" Mariko decided to use her to prove that she was _not_ Mariko.

"I called you Ma – _Suzume_! Because that's your name, right?" Kurohime's voice was not casual enough. It was too obscenely happy. She was wearing a huge grin on her face and winked every time she said "Suzume"!

Mariko looked at her and she had an epiphany.

Two epiphanies in one day! This was truly a record.

The epiphany was this: Maybe Kurohime wasn't so well-intentioned after all. Maybe she wanted to prove that Mariko _was_ Mariko.

Mariko sheepishly decided to stop trying. She was fighting a losing battle. "Fine. I'm Mariko Yoshida."

Kurohime gasped loudly. "We were doing so well, Mariko!"

Ayame quickly pushed herself through the crowd, grabbed Kurohime's arm, and pulled her out of the clubroom. Kurohime didn't fight. She seemed to realize that she wasn't needed.

Ayame wondered why she hadn't done this is the first place, but she chose not to think anymore of it. She wondered how Mariko was doing; she wasn't going to go back and check, but she'd hear of it the next day. Host Club gossip traveled faster than wildfire.

* * *

"We_ were doing so well"? She was _helping_ me? But then I wasn't fighting a losing battle! I could've _won_! Forget her terrible-_

"Why did you lie?"

Mariko wracked her mind for an answer. Finally, she decided to plainly open her mouth. _Something_ had to come out of it. "Because…" _Don't fail me now, mind! _"… of… reasons!"

Someone audibly snorted. Shrugging off her complete and utter fail, Mariko chose not to acknowledge the rude… _snorter_.

"Uh-huh," Hikaru said, not trying to hide his skepticism. "What kind of reasons?"

Mariko thought thoughtfully. Her mind finally decided to be of use. "Un-"

The sound of Mariko's favorite song filled the room. A ringtone. _Who decided to interrupt us? I should thank them, and then compliment their great taste. _Nothing happened. Mariko looked down and realized _her _phone was ringing. Yeah, she didn't feel like an idiot.

She hastily dug into her bag and pulled out her phone. "Heh, just a second."

"Is she really going to answer that? _Now_?" someone asked judgingly, not caring to whisper.

Kaoru apparently decided that whoever it was had the right idea. "Are you really going to answer that?"

Mariko waited for him to say "_Now?_" but Kaoru decided not to be a _blatant_ rip-off of the jerk. Then Mariko realized that this phone would be her way out of this. _I knew this phone would be worth it! _

She smiled her "You don't know what I mean by the words I'll say next" smile and said, "Am I?"

And then she cockily (kind of cockily, at least) flipped open her phone, pressed the green button, put it to her ear, and said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Mariko. So I found your calculator in my pencil case, and I can't find my calculator, so can I have yours?" Suzume asked.

Mariko gasped. "No way! Really?" She sprinted towards the exit. "I gotta get over there _right now_." Opening the door now…

"Where are you going?" Mariko heard Kaoru ask.

She shut the door.

_Lesson learned: The Fates are wrong._

* * *

Usually, when Mariko was in bed, she fell asleep within fifteen seconds.

That was a lie. In the unfortunate reality, Mariko took a decent amount of time falling asleep. But she entertained herself by doing things like comparing apples and oranges; in fact, she had been doing that the night before, and she found that oranges were indeed better.

But as she stared at her ceiling, her mind kept drifting to the Hitachiin twins. And then it would refuse to keep wandering. It would open up shop.

_Okay, that metaphor made no sense. _

It wasn't that Mariko _wanted_ to think of them. It wasn't that she _didn't _want to think of them, either.

It was that when you thought about a guy – okay, _guys_, but Mariko didn't know them well enough to think of them as separate beings - people would think that you had a crush on said guy(s).

_That_ was interesting. Did Mariko have a crush on them?

_Uh… No? _ She was so used to thinking that they were heartless jerks that she didn't realize they were actually kind of handsome.

_Wait, they're handsome_? ..._Oh_. _Duh. They're in the Host Club, after all_. True, they did look like dorks in middle school, but the haircut they got in high school was pretty cool.

But she didn't have a _crush_ on them. Shallow people weren't her type. She liked the nice guy who was _incredibly_ handsome. And the twins were only "kind of."

Plus they were gay. That was kind of a huge strike.

Mariko finally decided that she either had a crush on them or she didn't. She didn't.

Realizing that, she let her mind wander.

Yes, _wander_ on the Hitachiin twins.

_Their relationship is so interesting_, Mariko thought, and _forbidden_. _I mean, not one, but_ two _socially unacceptable aspects of their attraction. Being directly related and males was really bad luck._

Still, their relationship practically defined narcissism. They were _twins_. They weren't fraternal.

_So_, she gathered, _their love story is the story of Narcissus come true. Minus the fact that he thought his reflection was a girl (That apparently wasn't necessary.), the reflection, and the whole dying thing._

And then she fell asleep.

* * *

Mariko walked through the hallway, Suzume and Eri by her side. They weren't good company right then. They - or Suzume, at least - were freaking out because the test they had barely studied for (apparently, five hours counted as barely anything) was next period. Mariko had reassured them that they'd probably ace it several hundred times, but they refused to believe her. For good reason. Mariko was a chronic liar. The random girl the day before had been right.

Finally, they reached Mr. Inoue's room, and Mariko could leave them. She hoped they would do okay, but she knew Suzume wouldn't. Suzume would probably fail.

Lost in thought, Mariko went on autopilot walking to her next class. Which is why she didn't notice that two orange-haired clones were standing in front of her. "Sorry," she said, not even noticing that they _were_ orange-haired clones, and walked away.

Until Kaoru said, "Mariko, wait."

That's when she started running.

* * *

Two periods later, Mariko felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

The pocket was very interesting. It was practically invisible on the girls' uniform. It was a very useful invention. Unfortunately, it was only on _some _of her uniforms.

Mariko cautiously took out her phone and flipped it open.

_Hey, Mariko. Boredom is killing me. Anyway, someone said we're having a surprise quiz in Biology, so right now I'm having chronic diarrhea._

Mariko texted back: _That's disgusting, Suzume. Did you really have to tell me that?_

She looked around, put her phone back in her pocket, and thought, _I hope Mrs. Kudo doesn't see me._

When her phone vibrated again and she took it out, you can guess what happened next.

Her teacher pointed to something on the board and explained what it was. Then she looked at her class.

And saw Mariko texting obscenely slowly.

"Miss Yoshida, bring up what you're playing with and give it to me."

Mrs. Kudo wasn't the kind of teacher you said, "I'm not playing with anything," to. She'd just roll her eyes, walk up to you, and take whatever was in your hands. Even if it was just a pencil.

So Mariko walked up to her, gave her her phone, and sat down. "Detention. Tomorrow morning."

* * *

Mariko felt disheveled. Her maid (She only had one maid. Her mom thought that they were a waste of money, even though they had a lot of that to spare. Plus her mom stayed at home, and cooked dinner because she liked her family to feel like a family. And it did.) had forgotten about Mariko's detention and woke her up at the usual time.

She didn't blame Sasaki. She told her that she had detention in the middle of the night. At two A.M., she had suddenly woken up, remembered she had detention, walked to Sasaki's room, woke her up, and informed her of the situation.

Her mom wouldn't have been mad at Sasaki for forgetting, though. Sasaki was practically family. Her mom knew her when they were kids. There was some kind of tutoring program, and Sasaki was like her mother's little sister.

"Good morning, Miss Yoshida," Mrs. Kudo said, interrupting Mariko's train of thought. "You're late."

Mariko yawned. "Good morning, Mrs. Kudo. Sorry."

"Apology accepted. Now, I'd like all of you to use these to decorate the gym." She pointed to a big bag. "Do a good job, or you'll have another detention."

"Okay," Mariko said quietly. And then she realized what Mrs. Kudo had said. "_All of you"? What does she mean?_

Mariko looked around and saw two people she recognized from Drama.

And the Hitachiin twins.

* * *

Like it? Hate it? Feel completely neutral and have nothing to say?

Then review!

Seriously, I don't mind if you say, "I feel completely neutral and I have nothing to say."

Anyway, I tried to make Mariko more shallow, so I won't ask if you think she's a Mary-Sue. However, if you would like to answer that unasked question... -hint, hint-

Also, I have suspicions about the twins' ICness in this chapter. I just can't write them nice... Life sucks.

In addition (I'm running out of transition phrases/words), I made some edits to the first chapter. I just made Mariko a little less weird and jerkish in the last part. Mariko _is_ sort of a jerk, but more of a subtle one.

Anyway, see you in the next chapter!

Just don't expect it to come super-soon.

kthxbai


	4. Of Apologies and Board Washing

_Update as of 8/18/11: Added a nice little thingy at the end because the chapter was so darn short. I changed the wording a little and added description for the whole. If you already read the chapter, you just need to read the end._

I'm _sorry_!

Okay, now that that's out of the way...

* * *

Mariko _tried_ to smile, but her mouth kept thinking that reflecting her emotions was what it was meant for.

It was, but that did not, in any way, imply that she was going to use it that way.

And, as it was much too difficult for Mariko to turn her frown upside down, she was forced to settle for keeping her mouth a straight line. Neutrality, she decided, was _much _better than blatant displeasure.

She avoided meeting the eyes of _anyone_, even the boys from Drama, and went over to the bucket sitting by the blackboard.

"Mariko," she heard a voice call behind her. She flinched, but ignored it.

She looked once more at the bucket. Thinking it her way to escape the awkwardness of the classroom, she picked it up, opened the door, and-

"Where are you going?" Mrs. Kudo asked.

Mariko turned. She felt a sense of déjà vu take over her. "Nowhere," she muttered at the ground. Her hands fell to her side. The door closed behind her.

"What?" asked Mrs. Kudo, in the way people do when they heard exactly what you said, but decide to give you a chance for a more fitting reply.

Mariko looked up. "I have to fill this bucket with water. To wash the board," she explained in her best "I'm not irritated" voice.

"Mmhmm."

"So I'll just go now..." Mariko said, turning and grabbing the doorknob.

"Mariko," Kaoru tried again, seeing his chance.

"Wait," Mrs. Kudo said. "Someone has to come with you. We can't have you running off." She looked at the person closest to Mariko. "Mr. Hitachiin, go... No, you too may run off." She looked at the person closest to Kaoru, ignoring Hikaru. "Ah, Ms. Taniguchi..." Mrs. Kudo sighed. "Go with Ms. Yoshida."

Shizuko was a medium-height-sized thin girl with a chocolate brown hair in a loose ponytail that fell to the middle of her back. Thin-framed fragile-looking glasses and covered her black eyes. She looked surprisingly cheerful for the fact that she was being punished.

The reason for Mrs. Kudo's sigh was this: Shizuko was a student Mrs. Kudo actually _liked_. This was because Shizuko was a fairly smart student who had never failed a test in her life. Mariko didn't know what she was doing in detention, but she knew that Mrs. Kudo must have been disappointed to give it to her.

Shizuko smiled at Mariko, and, to avoid feeling guilt in the future, Mariko smiled back. As Shizuko walked toward her, Mariko opened the door, but didn't leave. She waited for Shizuko.

"Thanks," Shizuko said. As they left, she asked, "Do you want me to hold that?" while pointing to the bucket.

"No, but thanks," Mariko said automatically.

She and Shizuko made conversation as they walked through the hall. "You know," Shizuko began, "we could leave right now. We could skip a whole day of school and just roam the streets of Japan."

Mariko looked at her and squinted. She said, "You wouldn't do that," sureness in her tone. "You're too goody two-shoes," she pointed out, a bit too bluntly. "I mean…"

Shizuko gave her a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of her neck. A silence loomed over them. "Yeah," she finally admitted.

They walked in silence until they finally reached the janitor's closet. "I'll fill it, okay? I haven't done anything anyway," Shizuko kindly volunteered.

Mariko thought. She guessed it would be polite to say no, but she _had _already rejected her other offer. _And_ it was free labor that Shizuko _insisted_ on.

"Sure," she told her, handing her the bucket.

* * *

"Someone dust the bookshelf," Mariko heard Mrs. Kudo say as she walked in the room behind Shizuko.

"I'll dust it!"

Mrs. Kudo faced Mariko. "You're finally back. Good. The sponge is on the desk in the corner by the front windows. I presume you know how to wash boards."

_Of course I know how to wash boards!_ Mariko mentally exclaimed. _Sure, I've never done it, (I never understood why all my classmates always _loved_ performing free labor.) but I've seen people do it, and I remember the teacher scolding at the kid who drew pictures on the board with the sponge when he was washing it. I'm _sure _I can wash boards._

"You'll wash it?" Shizuko asked. Mariko nodded. Of course she would wash it. She'd just spent the last minute mentally explaining to Mrs. Kudo that _of course _she knew about the process of washing boards. "You don't need help?" She shook her head. Why would she? Washing boards was a one-person job. "Alright, I'll sweep, then. Be seeing you."

"Yeah," she replied. She then picked up the bucket and walked to the corner of the room by the front windows. Preparing for the task, she dropped the bucket and rolled up her sleeves. Then she dipped the sponge into the water. The surge of coolness entering through her hand was refreshing. She just _knew_ was ready for the (admittedly astonishingly easy) job.

Clutching the sponge, she pressed it against the board. _One stroke, two strokes, three strokes. This is easy. Up, down, up. To the right, now. _ It probably wasn't supposed to entertain her so much, but she didn't care. Dipping the sponge once more in the water, she resumed her task. _One, two, three. Right. One, two-_

"You're squeezing the sponge too tightly," Mariko heard a voice say behind her. _Hikaru._

"If you keep holding it like that, it's going to become ugly and misshapen," Kaoru continued.

Mariko, slightly aggravated, turned to face them. "How would you know about washing boards?" _After all, they were antisocial for more than half their lives. Where would they pick up on how to wash boards?_

"Why wouldn't we?" Kaoru asked. "Everyone knows how to wash boards."

"Then," Mariko began, "why are you talking to me about washing boards?"

"Because the sponge is going to be deformed if you keep holding it like that," Hikaru said, like it was obvious. It _was_ obvious, but that was beside the point.

"Can you get to the point?" Mariko asked, perhaps a bit too bluntly.

"Okay," Hikaru began. "We sort of remember who you are."

"Oh," Mariko said, resuming her washing of the board.

"And you were mad at us for some reason," Kaoru said.

"Because of my friend, Eri."

"You probably think that after all we did to those girls, we should have tracked them down and said sorry to each one. Personally," Hikaru said.

Mariko continued to wash the board, not commenting on how she never thought that at all, but it seemed like a nice idea.

_Where did that idea come from, anyway?_

"Even though we'd say we changed a _little_ after we joined the Host Club, we didn't become saints," Kaoru continued. He dusted off a windowsill. "We didn't have the patience, time, or ability to find every girl's heart we broke."

"And we lost count," Hikaru added. He hung up a poster that said, _If you don't have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over. _Mariko hated tacky posters like that.

_That's great to know, _Mariko thought. "But what does this have to do with me?"

"We're sorry," they said hurriedly, as if they hoped she wouldn't hear them.

"Oh." She scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "That's what you've been chasing me down for? To say you're sorry? Geez…"

A moment of silence passed. _Oh my _God_! I said that out loud!_

"Yeah," Kaoru finally said. "Well…"

Hikaru supplied the word he was looking for: "Bye."

They left to tack _tacky_ posters somewhere else. Mariko laughed pathetically at her pun, and continued washing the board. Unfortunately, she was almost done.

"Hey," a voice behind her said.

"Blarf," she replied, startled. She turned, and realized that it was only the other boy from Drama, Hideo.

Hideo was a short-ish kid that Mariko was kind of friends with. They had one thing in common: no acting goals. He'd be the kid in front of her that she looked to in case she forgot some of the choreography.

"Hello to you, too," Hideo said. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Mariko replied. "Just washing the board." She dipped her sponge into the bucket.

"Really?" Hideo asked. "I didn't notice," he remarked, sarcastically.

"Oh," Mariko said. "So what's up?"

Hideo scratched the back of his head. "Well, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with the twins..."

"Because you were only fifteen feet away, right?" Mariko retorted before she even realized what she was saying. "Oh, sorry, I didn't-"

Hideo interrupted her with a cough. "Actually, I was right over there," he said, gesturing to a place much less than fifteen feet away. "But that's not the point."

"What _is_ the point?" Mariko asked. She looked at the board. _Darn,_ she thought. _I'm nearly finished._

In truth, she had been nearly finished fifteen minutes before. She had tried not to acknowledge the fact and delayed her finishing by washing each part of the board six times instead of three.

"Well, like I was saying, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with the twins, and I was wondering... Shouldn't you apologize to them?" Hideo asked.

"But that's not any of your business," Mariko pointed out. "And why would I need to say sorry?" Finally, Mariko caught herself, but she found herself justified and didn't bother to take back her comments. They weren't so offensive anyway.

"Well, you did get them slapped that time..." Hideo said.

"How do you know about that?" Mariko asked. "I mean, I had _nothing_ to do with it. You can't prove anything! ...Not that I'm implying that I had anything to do with it."

"Uh-huh," Hideo said. "Everyone knows that was _Suzume_."

"Exactly," Mariko said. "I'm not Suzume, so it wasn't me!" she aptly reasoned.

"Mariko, don't yell. Mrs. Kudo's looking at us, and she hates me enough already."

"Well, if you just did your homework..."

"You don't do your homework and she hates you too, so stop talking." Hideo opened his mouth and hesitantly closed it. He scratched his head.

_He scratches his head too much_, Mariko kindly thought. _People are going to start thinking he has dandruff._

"Remind me why we're friends?" Mariko nearly began to explain that they weren't friends, or, at least, not _really_, but Hideo cut her off. "Anyway, Mariko, everyone knows it was Suzume _and_you who planned the slap thing, but you also yelled at them the other day and then avoided them constantly so you really should say sorry."

They stood in silence for a minute while Mariko thought of something to say. Finally, a comeback came to her. It was a rather genius comeback, in her opinion. "Shouldn't you be cleaning?"

Hideo sighed, and Mariko got the odd feeling that her comeback wasn't so genius. "Look around. Everything's practically finished. Class starts in a half hour." Mariko said nothing, but looked around and realized that what he said was true. "How about this: you're done washing the board-"

"I'm not done," Mariko said rather pathetically. She had been washing the last part of the board twelve times, and she was halfway through her thirteenth stroke.

"Uh-huh," Hideo said skeptically. "But when you're done, I'll dump the bucket for you and you can apologize to the twins while I do it."

"Is this what you call a bribe?" Mariko asked. She finished washing the board.

"Yeah," Hideo said, "but you'll take it anyway, right?" He threateningly glared at her, which backfired since he was three inches shorter than her and resembled a spoiled child not getting their way. Mariko just barely suppressed a giggle.

"I don't know why you care so much..." Mariko wrung out her sponge. "But here." She carelessly dropped the sponge into the bucket and handed it to him.

Hideo took it. "Thanks," he said. As he walked away, he said to himself, "That's my good deed of the day."

Mariko wiped her hands on the sides of her dress.

"I wonder... If she doesn't apologize, does it still count?" Hideo paused on his way to the door, but he resumed walking after a moment. "It doesn't matter. I _am_carrying this bucket, aren't I?" Silence. Mariko watched Hideo open the door. "You know, that was kind of pointless. I could've just offered to carry the bucket back for her. And we all know she's not going to say sorry."

"Mr. Watanabe, where do you think you're going?"

Hideo stopped, held up his bucket, and kept moving.

It scared Mariko how he knew so much about her.

* * *

Mariko yawned. She was beginning to get a bit dizzy, which was odd, because she had slept the usual amount of time the night before.

Maybe her body was just tired from all the stupid Host Club drama. Or something.

Looking back, Mariko realized that the stuff that happened with the twins was nothing close to drama. Word on the street - okay, word on the spotless, marble( or some other pretty floor-rock)-tiled hallway - was that some French girl (probably pretty - she was a _French_ girl, after all) transferred to Ouran because she was in love with _Kyoya Ootori_. Needless, to say, he didn't return her feelings. He was Kyoya Ootori, King of Asexuality, after all.

Mariko was nowhere close to embarrassing herself that badly.

Drama didn't have that much of a home at Ouran. No one got pregnant, started _real_ fights, or tried to sell acid or cigarettes. At least, not that Mariko knew of. They_ were_ refined rich people, after all.

"Mariko, are you even listening?" Suzume asked. "I aced the exam! I _aced_ the exam! _I _aced the exam!"

"Really?" Mariko asked. The last time she could remember Suzume acing _anything_ was... _Hmm..._

Never.

"No. But I got a 78!"

"_Really_?" Mariko asked. _That's six points higher than my math average last semester!_

"_Yes_," Suzume said, rolling her eyes. "I may be the occasional liar -" Mariko snorted. Suzume pouted, but continued, "but I don't lie twice in a row."

Mariko snorted again. Suzume glared. "Oh, I mean... I was just surprised, that's all." _Yeah, let's just go with that._ "I didn't mean to _offend_ you. Of course not!"

"You're so mean to me," Suzume whined good-naturedly, seeing through Mariko. "And you're horrible at lying. What happened? You used to be so good at it!"

"I don't know," Mariko said. _It's kind of weird that Suzume's _dismayed _by my drop in lying skills. She should be happy! _

They had sat in silence while Mariko thought, but since she was done, she asked curiously, "Whose exam was it anyway?" all while taking a sip of her water.

"Mr. Inoue's, duh. It's not like I took any other exams in the past week," Suzume said. She stabbed a piece of food with her fork and shoved it into her mouth. "Man, this is good."

Mariko eyed Suzume. _Hmm.._. "Wow," Mariko said. "You're a better actor than I thought."

"Actress. I hate it when people say that 'real hardcore females who act for a living are actors and by calling themselves actresses, they are only succumbing to male sexism,'" Suzume said, looking irritated. Mariko could hear Suzume's older sister telling her the whole "actor, not actress" bit, even though she (Suzume's older sister) had no interest in acting whatsoever. Mariko nearly explained that what Suzume said wasn't what she meant at all, but Suzume cut her off with, "But, Mariko, this _does_ taste good. Try it." She held out her fork to Mariko's face.

Mariko held up her hand. "No thanks. I hate fish. But I was-"

"I never understood why you live in _Japan_ and hate fish," Suzume interrupted nonchalantly.

Mariko rolled her eyes. "_I_ never understood why _you_ live in Japan and can't use chopsticks. But I-"

"It's hard!" Suzume defended herself with impressive skill.

"Yeah, it's especially difficult since the instructions are written on the sleeve," Mariko sarcastically stated. She waited to see if Suzume would reply, but she was too busy stabbing sushi. "I wasn't talking about the food anyway. I was talking about the exam."

"Geez, Mariko, I already told you I don't lie," Suzume said. She paused and scanned the cafeteria.

"Actually-"

"Do you know where the heck Eri is?"

* * *

"Mariko!" Suzume called, frantically waving her arm.

Mariko turned one-hundred eighty degrees with the speed of a vinyl record, looking for Suzume amongst the sea of powder-blue and yellow.

Actually, "sea" was not an accurate enough word to describe it, as there were ten people in the courtyard at the time and seven of them were boys huddled together in a group (and _no_, they were _not_ the Host Club; there were… _seven_ people in the Host Club, but they still weren't the Host Club.), another was a random new girl from the year before who Mariko never had the chance to speak with, and the other was Eri.

"Hi," Mariko greeted once she reached Suzume. "What happened?"

Suzume rubbed the back of her neck and looked at the ground, biting her bottom lip. Mariko could feel the mood changing. "I found out where Eri is." She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"And?"

"Eri's at home, she's… she's crying her eyes out…"

Mariko guffawed. Did Suzume think she would actually fall for that?

_Then think again, silly girl! Nyah hahahaha!_

The last part was said out loud.

"You're so mean!" Suzume complained loudly, drawing stares from the group of guys. Mariko could see them hoping it was a catfight. It should've been obvious that it wasn't, since one of them was laughing like a maniac, but boys will be boys.

_And boys are idiots._

Suzume interrupted Mariko's sexist thoughts with a classic, "Hey, are you even listening?"

"Yes, Suzume, I know, I'm a mean, horrible person," Mariko said, rolling her eyes.

"But nothing after that, right?"

"Uh…" Mariko searched for a comeback, but ultimately failed. "…Right?"

"Well, that's probably because I didn't say anything after that, isn't it?" Suzume smirked, and Mariko decided to give her the victory. She _was _feeling charitable.

"But what happened to Eri, anyway?" Mariko asked.

"Eri?" Suzume asked, the bickering having made her momentarily forgotten about her friend. "Oh, she went home. She ate some bad tuna. I'm pretty sure her parents can sue."

"Why?"

"We're in the preppiest school in the world! Okay, maybe just Japan, but we're rich; they can't feed us bad food. We _pay _for this stuff!"

"But why didn't she eat lunch with us?" Mariko (told herself she) wasn't being a clingy friend; for the past year, they'd been eating lunch together.

"Oh, well… That, I… I don't know. Heh, weird, that's the whole reason we were looking for her anyway. But anyway, maybe she was hanging out with her other friends or something."

"Pfft. Eri doesn't have other friends," Mariko asserted rather cruelly.

"Well, don't lose any sleep over it. I lost the BFFL contract months ago."

* * *

Will Eri ever be found? Were the twins horrendously out of character? Was this chapter horribly short compared to the time it took me to write it?

Ye- I mean, stay tuned to find out!

But anyway, I am _really_ sorry about the wait. I've (Fruit Ninja) been (TVTropes) hopelessly (Death Note) busy (random pairing fluff) lately!

Okay, a big reason is that I've been insanely uninspired. Romance definitely isn't my forte. It's my... uh... piano. Chyeah.

Shizuko's (water-bucket girl's) last name is a (rather shameless) reference. That's not only because I love the series I'm referencing, but I was also stuck in a wi-fi-less horrible land and I can't get Japanese names off of the top of my head. So whoever can guess the reference gets... a non-stalkerish, totally platonic virtual hug! I can see the excitement.

I'll be seeing you... sometime.


End file.
